What is control exactly?
The feeling of necessity to steer the direction of nearly every aspect of our life, including personal and romantic relationships, family dynamics, and events in the workplace.
The possible unraveling of "keeping up appearances of doing well" may eventually lead to facing deniability of one's unactualized confrontation of circumstance with truth and reality. This in itself could cause a complete reevaluation of one's placement in society and/or family heirarchy and create a devastating emotional crumble.
So, keeping a lid on things so-to-speak or "keeping up with the Joneses" isn't always the best way to keep training our brains to acclimate as the most holistic and healthy way to live. How does one deal with that?
Recognizing and considering the emergence of circumstances in which anger, resentment, annoyance and controlling thought may gather strength can become formidable allies.
How would you recognize a circumstance?
Do things have to go the way they are going?
Am I forcing myself or someone down a path?
What do I really need control over?
Is someone threatening, competing or making me feel unsafe in some way?
Is my choice really the best thing for me?
Am I in a triggered emotional state?
Can I retrain my brain to react differently?
Have I ingested dietary substances that have led to the rising escalation of a controlling or heated frame of mind?
Things we as human beings actually have control over:
What goes in our body
How we move our body
How we spend my day
Who we spend my time with
How we react to situations
How we feel
Hormones get in the way
Slowly releasing control and letting go is much easier when there isn't an insurgence of adrenaline, cortisol, and a need to dominate other people or creatures around us for power to make ourselves feel better or assure ourselves that we matter.
Is our way really the best way?
It's a lonely repellant place of "knowing what's best for the whole universe" and "my way is the best way for everyone" mentality that leaves us with a facade of respect but flying totally solo.
Taking a time out
Take some time out if you feel you need to. We may sit back, breathe and figure stuff out. Beginning to figure out not only why we are acting a certain way but why someone else may be reacting back negatively is a good place to start.
That's where we decide if we want to keep being someone who perpetuates the situation or someone who dials it back and reels it in, gets positive and goes with the flow.
We may not like what's going on, but we will surely feel better and possibly more at peace.
Spreading control through gossip just elevates a negative dialogue and situation. Any human being that wants to believe that they are in control through gossip will find themselves revved up with chaotic energy and then later exhausted and ungrounded. Let them.
You have better things to do.
Human beings are all still have growing at every age.
It'll all work out in the end and you'll have a more chill ride a long the way.